Back to square one....

I have my permit but am rarely allowed to drive, so what the actual fuck is the point I'm almost 21 and I have 95% of the skills I need to drive successfully but ya know of course no one's willing to help me practice this shit so that I can have a license. I can't even deal with the amount of bullshit that has been going on. My sex life ya that's a fucking joke, my social life is even more so then my sex life. No one really talks to me and no one wants to hang out with me. Granted I know I'm kind of a bit depressive to be around because of my negative attitude but, I've made sure that I don't dwell on the negative things while I'm around people. Which means not a whole lot of talking for me. I'm trying to do better and be better but it's hard when there really isn't a "light" at the end of the tunnel for you to work towards. I love Katie and I would do anything for her....and it hurts me more then anything to have to leave her here on cape, while I go off to school, I don't know what will happen when I leave or what the outcome will be if I can handle it or not but all I know for sure is I'm scared so very scared and I don't want anyone to know that because I've been so adamant about this...I don't know maybe I should just put myself in a permanent coma and just forgo all of this pain....