Ya know, I get it I'm a hard person to get along with, I say shit that may or may not be true sometimes and I don't watch what comes out of my mouth, not to mention I have a short temper, the one thing I thought I had was a close group of friends that no matter what would be there till' the end...apparently I have achieved the unachievable by annoying/pissing them off to the point of seclusion. Now don't get me wrong here I'm not saying I haven't done anything wrong, BUT, what I believe should have happened and what has actually gone on are two totally different verses. I thought that after the drama of money and what shit flew around at Anime Boston, everything would be fine because everyone would be in their respectful places as it would be. Again I was and or am still wrong. I know I've said a lot that I've felt alone but this is the first time that feeling has been substantiated by what's going on in my life. While I realize I'm not the most chipper person to talk to and sometimes I'm on the verge of just down right pessimistic but there are just some aspects of my personality that I can't change. My view on life is as follows...Those who are born with a talent are born to succeed, whether or not you discover that talent over a natural progression or not is based on life events. I feel like I'm always stuck in-between everything, I'm not playing the pity me card trust me that gets you no where fast but no one can honestly say they know where I'm coming from(and I get it everyone has problems of there own and every ones situation is bad in it's own respect. I'm not down playing any ones problems or pain) I'm trying to do the best with what I have but every time I let people in I get hurt, no one stays for as long as they say they will. If this hurts any of you to read I'm sorry. The long of the short of it is....I work 40+ hours a week to make sure I can live, I may not remember to text or call or any of that but that doesn't mean I'm not trying to be your friend, it means I'm exhausted from working and trying to get sleep and make sure my diabetes doesn't kill me and grow up and take my responsibility for my life and actions and all that but guess what that's a lot for me to take control of. You asked for me to stop taking my relationship problems to you and I did no problem it took a few months but I did.....Do you ever stop to look around and realize how alone you actually are because today for the first time in years I looked around and saw just how alone I really am. Now my definition of alone is when I take a look at communication in all it's forms and how used it is. There are a few select people that I trust enough to call friends and right now I feel as if I'm only a burden to them.
Hayden-Man I don't know what else to say then I'm sorry to have been such a burden/leech on your life for the past few years.
Ruby-Not much to say here. I'm sorry that I've upset you and that our friendship is strained.
Eli,Ben,Brandi-You guys have done a lot for me as a whole and i appreciate all of it.
Part 2
I'm sad, depressed and in fact alone I just want my close friends back but that seems if nothing else a pipe dream at this point....
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