And a 1 and a 2 and a....WTF GUYS SERIOUSLY!

I call gawd damn shannanagins on this whole fucking situation ive invested so much of my fucking time into this trip and all ive gotten out of it is a major migraine and bitchy people.
For those of you who aren't following i am planning the anime boston trip for my friends this year and as usual people are being fucking stupid about everything. thought i had a hotel nope thought we had transportation figured out nope thought everything was good but apparently no one trusts me. I mean dont get me wrong my wonderful girlfriend has my back but far from that im pretty much standing alone at this podium waiting for my own demise here. so lets summarize real quick....1.stupid issues 2.hotel issues 3.A lack of trust in their leader.

For those of my friends who will read this (kat,hayden) i miss you guys and any advice would be most welcomed from you guys

Never would have though i"d come this far just to bow to this

I guess it's been awhile since I've talked like this but bear with me as I explain exactly how the past few weeks went down.

I found out that my girlfriend wanted to break up with me because of the way i was treating my own body...valid reason seeing as I am a brittle diabetic and have spent most of my life in turmoil with this disease but, I'm trying I really am over the past few weeks I've gotten better with taking my shots but today I almost had a seizure and that scares me more than anything.I realized that Everyone's there to support me and i just need to carry on. I know my depressions back and im worried that itll break us up......i just am so confused and need help which ill get i just dont know anymore

One last moon

simple....she no longer feels I'm a viable partner because Ive accepted death as an all to real reality for me but I'm not giving up yet I'm trying but the more i read how shes feels the worse off i feel my depression is in high gear and has been since September but i havens let on and its only made worse by my own head when i read about  how shes torn between breaking up with me because she wants a viable future or staying with me because she still feels for me. I've never been one to force anyone to make a decision but this waiting in my own head is killing me and i just don't know if i can handle this much  longer unfortunately....this could be the end of me...if she chooses to leave ill have no choice but to....

I don't blame her...far from it I instead blame myself whole heartedly and accept all that is coming to me.

please save me

I always knew that it would come to this staring down my own death but i wanted to do it alone with no attachments. But i found her and now i feel obligated to live but i feel like i cant break this cycle...i need to live,in fact i want to live but im finding it very hard to change everything between my mom and my doctors have forced me to psychologically block myself into my own death and now its getting to late to change and i dont know if i will live to see the day when me and "she" have a child and we have the life we always wanted.....i want to change but i feel alone and dont know if i can do it