I don't think I'm strong enough...

With everything that's going on in my life I just don't think I can handle all this, I mean don't get me wrong I owe people some money not a whole lot but some money the big problem being I had talked with them letting them know that because of my financial situation the money wouldn't be there for upwards of four weeks....now they're obviously not happy with that and I can understand why but, I can't just stop paying my bills or getting my insulin (I'm a type 1 brittle diabetic) so that they can have their money I make $260 a week and 95% of that goes to food/bills not to mention medicine and what not, on top of that I'm trying to save for college because I'm moving to New York in November to attend college. My biggest fear is that my girlfriend who for what will be three years will find someone better than I because, lets face it, I'm no catch I'm a 20 year old diabetic who works a minimum wage job 37 hours a week whose diabetes is killing him because I can't get a hold on it due to stress, bad examples and a long time worth of my mother who also has diabetes blaming me for her getting it and not helping me develop a proper sense of responsibility with this disease. I've had this disease for well over ten years almost fifteen and when it comes down to it I'm surprised anyone wants to be with a kid who is in all reality killing himself...Right now she sleeps an I worry about how I will overcome this excruciating burden that I carry on my shoulders.