Loop me through infinity back into my grave

It's very simple we fought,I left,I came back,We loved being in each others arms again but I can't help but have that thought in the back of my head....John someone I used to be really good friends with has become one of my worst enemies because he has liked my girlfriend since he met her back in December,The things he does most of the time piss me off. He one ups me and basically has almost filled my position in Kaites life he makes her laugh,smile,happy in general things I have lost the ability to do. I don't know what to do because well.... latley I've been neglecting my own health to help everyone else. I'm at a point where I'm planning the least painful way to kill myself and I've come to the conclusion that I'll just take a bunch of sleeping medications and drift off to sleep one final time.

Katie- None of this is your fault in fact I blame myself wholeheartedly for this happening. I wish you nothing but happiness and good tidings in your life. I know It's going to hurt but It's not that I don't love you because I do really love you so much but when you see how close death is like I do you can't help but give up...I screwed up my one and only chance to be with you. I hope you understand that I'll miss you everyday and I hope you can forgive me for this.....I love you Catherine Rae Wilcox You will always be my one true love.

Hayden/Kat/Brandi-You guys are the are what friends should aspire to be. Hayden, In the time we've known each other we've learned to read each other like a book and I can't thank you enough for helping me as much as you have I wish things didn't have to come to this but I've lost my way and this is the only path I've found. Kat....I'm crying writing this especially this part because as my sister this is going to hurt you a lot...I couldn't have asked for a better friend,sister,companion and confidant for the past 10 years....I'm sorry I had to leave like this. Brandi, again ten years have gone by since we first met. There are things that you know about me that most people don't and what hurts me about this is having to leave my sister behind...I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you. I'll never forget the pokemans,digimans,Bleach,Hetalia,Doctor Who,MLP,Zombies or anything else we enjoyed together. I'm sorry guys.

All my friends/family-I'm sorry I couldn't handle it but after all of the comments from doctors and such I just can't handle it anymore I tried but I couldn't handle it...please live like I taught you to I want you all to be successful don;t let a single person tell you no you can't because I know you can!

-Will-
I hereby leave my belongings to 1)Catherine Rae Wilcox 2)Kat Rose Radamaker 3)Brandi Lee Peake 4)Hayden Alton Sanford 5)Danni Rae Underhill 6)Dan Anderson. These people can disrtibute them as they see fit. I wish to be cremated and have my ashes spread over Shibuya Station in Shibuya,Tokyo,Japan. that is all I hope everyone can forgive me.

I have failed

So i am moving out of my girlfriends house and the whole reasoning is basically i am wrong i will always be wrong and as a person i am made wrong so until i can be right i might aswell have lost her to him