Time of dying....

I've come to this point where I am....well ready to die every time this has come up I've berried it and now I just can't hold this in anymore I want to die because I can't provide for her, I can't make her happy I've failed her. It's basically like this I love her so much that if I lose her I will have no choice but to end my life.....I love you all but I can't handle this...

Wild ones

So I've been out of commision for about  a week now and its killing me to not see katie and to be stuck in a room all day....A few of my biggest problems here are :My manager being fucking bi polar with the shit shes saying to and about me, the pain deciding to fuck with me, and everyone told me i should quit but now all of a sudden i shouldnt cause well just cause this shit has to stop make up my mind because obviously whatever i choose will be wrong.

second off ive lost track of my insulin again but im trying to get back on it i just keep coming down on myself so hard and it didnt help when the doc weighed me i lost 20lbs i guess im just doomed to fail.